Monday, December 7, 2009

Fernetiquette True FAQs

Dear Fernetiquette, 

I've got lots of questions.
Awesome. But that's... not really a question.

I know. I'm just saying I have them and that they may or may not be asked frequently.
Oh. I suppose you'd like me to answer them in a timely fashion, then?


I'll probably get on with it now-ish.
Solid. Fire when ready.

(cont'd after the jump)


Why are you blogging about Fernet? Do you really love it that much?
Sort of. Look, I recognize that Fernet is never going to be described as "delicious" by your typical joe sixpack, but for whatever reason it's one aspect of the San Francisco scenester culture that I really relate to. I don't have a fixie, I'm not a vegetarian, I'd look positively retarded in skinny jeans and I kind of hate the idea of Burning Man (I really really dig showers, see.) So really all I've got is Fernet. Don't take that from me, man.

So do you drink Fernet all the time?
Ye gods no. On the occasion that I go out drinking, I'll usually start with a shot of Fernet and a beer to chase. Or if I've just had a huge meal, I'll enjoy it as a digestif.

A digestif? Does that work?
Seems to.

I'm not sure I buy it.
Do you want me to show you the evidence?

Exactly. Don't challenge me, motherfucker.

OK, anything else?
Yes. If I'm outside the Bay Area and I'm at a bar that serves Fernet, I am constitutionally incapable of not ordering one. I guess it makes me feel smug and San Franciscan even far, far away. Also, if I discover that you've never tried it I'm buying you one. Mainly because I am a sadistic bastard and I like the faces you people make when it goes down.

Fascinating. So does this blog make you some sort of Fernet expert?
Absolutely not. I'm not a bartender or a mixologist and I don't work in the beverage industry. I'm just a dude who likes booze and has some time to kill. Still, I do have a curious nature and like cataloging things, so who knows what time may bring.

I take it that "Fernetiquette" isn't your Christian name?
No. That would be an eerie coincidence. I've decided to blog anonymously for probably slightly paranoid professional reasons. This may change. We'll see.

What are your thoughts on ginger backs?
Look, I don't need training wheels. I'm waaaaayyyyyy too hardcore for that. (I also don't take any sugar with my morning fancy man tea. WORSHIP ME.) That said, if you're someone who likes it that way, more power to you. I'm not going to begrudge anyone their individual Fernexperience.

So the header says you'll "probably talk about other things too". What kind of other things are we talking about? I swear to god if this turns into another tumblr about Dolores Park or a blog about your favorite iPhone apps or... vegan cupcakes or something, I'm leaving.
No. Look, I can't predict exactly where I'm going with this right now. I can almost guarantee that I'll talk about the Giants because few things go together better than baseball and saffron-infused Italian bitters. Odds are good that I'll talk about San Francisco in general, as well as music and film. I might talk about politics, but probably not too much. Also, I have an irrational obsession for University of Michigan football, so count on a post or two slobbering over Tate Forcier. Bottom line: Don't limit me. I promise it will be mostly relevant to the title topic.


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