Places You Can Get Fernet: Citizen Wine Bar in Worchester, MA

An emailed tip from Dave from the Bay State:

There is a bar called the Citizen in Worcester MA where Fernet flows freely!  From fernet and cokes to hanky pankys.  Shots chased with Ginger beer and a branca menta flip made with housemade cocoa tincture that is out of this world!  These guys are true kings of the craft and well known as one of the very few places to get fernet in central mass.  Just thought you should know.

Cheers!!!!

Citizen Wine Cheese and Chocolate Bar is the sort of establishment that eschews both conventional bar food AND the Oxford Comma. On the other hand, they do boast "proper ratios" every night. Which is not only impressive, but (depending on how they enforce those ratios) potentially discriminatory. Wooo!

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Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, Boston, Bars should be all forced to post their ratios all the time, welcome to Worchester $1.25 pa, The Oxford Comma is the sexiest comma, Tom Brady is a handsome man,

Places You Can Get Fernet: Halo, in Atlanta, GA.

Fernet was previously found in Atlanta at the local (and not the Murder Kroger).

Again from our traveling correspondent.

At Halo in Atlanta. Stay sexy.

As you can see, my boy is excellent with the Fernet Fotography.
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Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, Fernet Foto File, Atlanta, Fernets and their migratory patterns, Jason Heyward is an effing stud.

The Greatest Fernet Story Ever Told?

Got this in the ol' inbox this week. It was so good, so wonderful, so utterly transcendent that it demanded to be shared, (almost) immediately, unedited and uncut. Without further ado, I present to you, the gentle reader...

 Well. That pic turned out a bit more sacreligious than I'd originally intended.

...The Greatest Fernet Story Ever Told (This Week So Far). Enjoy.

About a year ago I hosted an Argentine wine dinner with 5 courses paired with different Argentine wines. I couldn't find a proper wine to go with dessert so my liquor rep suggested the national drink of Argentina, Fernet Branca. She brought a bottle by to sample and we were both hooked. It really didn't go with the dessert [ED- Shocking!] but I knew it packed verve and would be very memorable to our 80 guests. The dinner went fantastic and I introduced Fernet to everyone, gave a toast and we did our Fernet (sans ginger chaser) together and as you can imagine it was a polarizing experience.  All in all, great night of food, wine and Fernet. 

 So the real story begins post-dinner.  These two girls persuaded me to do shots of Fernet with them. I was feeling Euphoric from the great evening and we ended up doing NINE shots.  I think I forgot to mention that I had to be at the airport at 5:30 am the next morning (or maybe it was this morning) as I was a chaperone on my daughter's 8th grade trip to Washington, DC.....I actually passed out from the indulgence much to my wife's displeasure and had to be carried to the car and poured into bed. [ED- This has never happened to me. Ever.]

I was kinda/sorta unresponsive when my wife and daughter tried to wake me at 3:00 am and after repeated attempts to get me up, they realized it wasn't gonna happen. I woke from my comatose state at 8:00 am and was a little fuzzy but amazingly had no hangover! 

I knew I had to be somewhere and thought everyone had overslept but me. So I got a text from my beautiful daughter Claudia that said "I still love you" and knew I was in trouble. Then I got a phone call from my wife and she didn't still love me!! However, she arranged a flight later that day (for an extra $400 thank-you very much) and arrived at the hotel just as the Redeemer Lutheran School 8th grade class was getting back from the nighttime monument tour. Of course they all knew what happend to me (even the ticket agent at the airport knew!) but I was going to make the best of a bad situation and became the friggin' best 8th grade chaperone anyone has seen. Volunteered for every detail no one wanted and at the end became great friends with the teacher and all the students thought I was the "cool" chaperone. I owe it all to Ferent Branca.

 Let this be a lesson to you, my friends: NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN TO YOU when two (or more) girls "persuade" you to do shots of Fernet Branca. It's like Spanish Fly, except instead of helping you get laid, it helps you get awesome. Also, your family will love you forever. The End.

Or not quite the end. Our contributor tacks on with an extra special Places You Can Get Fernet:

I'm the biggest supporter of Fernet in the Panhandle and if you ever get to Pensacola, Florida stop by Seville Quarter for some Fernet at End O' The Alley Bar. We are the leader in NW Florida (not saying much) and are very proud to be in the "know" of this incredible (in moderation) elixir.

 

Bill Carlson

Seville Quarter

Pensacola, FL

You hear that Pensacolans? (Pensacolians? Pensacolas? Pensacolacicles?) End O' The Alley is your new Home Base. Get to it, people. Oh, and one more note from Mr. Carlson...

ps. The staff has nicknamed Fernet "Kill Bill" in homage to me. You got to be known for something in your lifetime!

  I'll leave the MSPainting up to y'alls.

Amazing. Simply, amazing. Many, many thanks. 

Any other Entries from readers as to your Greatest Fernet Stories? Come on, San Franciscans. I know you've got 'em. Sharing is caring.

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Filed Under: MSPaint Skillz, The Greatest Fernet Story Ever Told This Week So Far, Places you can get Fernet, Hangover Freedom, Florida, Yes I know I'm going directly to hell

Places You Can Get Fernet: Cure in New Orleans, LA

Another short one. If time permits, I've got plenty of interesting updates coming very soon.

Regardless:

Forwarded to us by our intrepid traveling reporter, who testified that Cure boldly offers not just Fernet-Branca, but ALSO features my old nemesis* Branca Menta.

Well played.

*Updates also to come on our longstanding bloodfeud with The Menta.
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Filed Under:  Places you can get Fernet, Nawlins, Fernet Foto File, Branca Menta is the devil, keeping up with this blog is hard sometimes.

Places You Can Get Fernet: Harry's Bar in Allston, MA

It's been a while and I've got some catching up to do, so how about a short one? OK? OK.

Taken May 17, 2010 at Harry's Bar and Grill in Allston, Mass. The accompanying message from the fine gentleman who sent the picture:

I miss you, my friend.

You too, brother.
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Filed Under: Boston, Places you can get Fernet, Fernet Foto File, male bonding amongst males, Allston Rock City.

Places You Can Get Fernet: Russell House Tavern in Cambridge, MA

The Russell House Tavern is in Harvard Square, across the Charles River from the Eastern Standard in Cambridge. Of course, Cambridge is where Harvard is. Thus, Russell House Tavern is a Harvard Bar, and I am legally obligated to deploy this picture:

Why yes, I do enjoy a nice Granny Smith from time-to-time.

Russell House Tavern is on "JFK street", which is kind of like having a gay bar in San Francisco called Moby Dick: too obvious to NOT be a real thing. The bar opened a few weeks ago, has a truly awesome special offer for the hungry brainacs who frequent the area.

Grossman said that the Harvard community was one of the top three factors he took into consideration before opening the restaurant. He added that he has informally created a “happy meal” for students, which consists of a 16-ounce Brooklyn lager tall boy, one shot of Fernet Branca, and a “giant” burger—priced at $18.

FUCK YEAH HAPPY MEAL. In my head these come in cardboard boxes in the shape of Fenway Park with a smiling David Ortiz on the outside dressed as the Hamburgler.

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Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, Boston, Oh Matt Damon he is such a tortured soul, Applesauce bitch, Hopefully McDonalds' lawyers will never hear about this

Places You Can Get Fernet: Sable in Chicago, IL

In the middle of my junior year of college, my girl and I went to the City of Broad Shoulders to visit a friend of mine from grade school who had moved out there while he and I were in high school. It was in the dead of winter; the harrowing part of Midwestern January. According to the weathermen, it was something like -40 with the wind chill. I didn't know if what the forecast said was true, I just know it was the coldest I'd ever been in my life. It still is.

The three of us still managed to brave the conditions and fought our way downtown. I wore my Red Wings jersey. At the Art Institute, we did this:

Of course we did.

I mention this not because it's particularly relevant; it's just to remind myself that I should contact the old friend and the girl more often. They are wonderful people and I miss them both.

What is quite relevant is this: you can get Fernet in Chicago. True fact.

A good hotel bar can be a traveler’s best friend, especially when it comes with a pedigree like that of the recently opened Sable Kitchen & Bar in Chicago’s Hotel Palomar. With a spirits selection curated by bartender Jacques Bezuidenhout and cocktails like the Fernet- and St. Germain-laced Ginger Dram and the strawberry- and mezcal-bedecked Speaking in Tongues being mixed by Violet Hour alum Mike Ryan, Sable is the perfect bar away from home.

 Sable is at 505 North State street, which according to the googlz is right downtown-ish. Picture goes here.

For the record, the Ginger Dram consists of:

• 1 3/4 oz. single-malt scotch whisky 
• 1 oz. Domaine de Canton ginger liqueur
• 2 barspoons Fernet Branca
• 2 dashes Angostura bitters
• Ice cubes 
• A dash of DA BEARS
• Lemon twist
• Served in a Nick & Nora glass

One of those ingredients may not be entirely serious.
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Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, Chicago, Fernet cocktails, Over-sharing and functional alcoholism, I don't get the ginger fascination I really don't, I'd buy Steve Bartman a shot dude deserves it

Places You Can Get Fernet: Spoontonic in Walnut Creek, CA

Got an email last week from a tipster named Kristen who says:

I work in the East Bay in Walnut Creek at this place called Spoontonic lounge. We sell a butt load of Fernet, and if you ever want to come check it out we're within walking distance from BART (pleasant hill or walnut creek).

"Butt load" is a technical term in the drink service industry. FYI.

Spoontonic is seems pretty hip since you can follow it on the Facebooks. They also have something called a "My Space", which I've never heard of so it must be hella cutting edge. FWIW they're also really well received on Yelp. One review in particular mentioned that they have a photobooth and only charge $2 for a PBR which makes me all nostalgic for the home base.

Pictures blatantly cribbed from Yelp go here:

They gots cute hipster girls in The Crick too.

Having grown up in the Far East Bay myself, I can say that I'm pretty familiar with the area. This place sounds objectively better than any other bar in Walnut Creek I've ever been to by a mile and a half. AND they serve Fernet, so bonus! Small caveat: According to Kristen a shot of Fernet is $7. This would be utterly unconscionable in SF, but one must make adjustments for what the market will bear out in the uncharted hinterlands of the Bay.

(I kid, I kid.)

ETC: My tipster graciously offered to have a shot at the bar waiting for me should I ever make it out there so I can "test if the fernet tastes different outside the city." Oooh, that sounds like research. I like research. Finally, check out Kristen's tumblr, which is filled with all kinds of general hilarity.
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Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, Fernets and their migratory patterns, Journey to the End of the East Bay, How much are you paying for your Fernet, Photobooths are where the magic happens

Places You Can Get Fernet: Eastern Standard in Boston, MA

So. You're in Boston. You've gone to Faneuil Hall. You've had your picture taken in front of the Civil War memorial on the Common. You've done the Duck Tour. And you've walked by Fenway and thought about how nice it would be to see a game there but all the tickets are sold out and $350 for a scalped seat behind a pole are you effing kidding me!?!?!

Now you're thinking to yourself "Man, I could really go for a rib eye steak, half a raw lobster, some standard (not special, mind you) foie gras with seasonal garnish, and an heirloom apple tarte tartin for dessert. Oh, and also some Fernet. I've only got $75 to spend (not including tax and gratuity, of course.) But where???"

There's only one place that THIS writer knows of. And that's The Eastern Standard.

The aforementioned standard foie gras and seasonal garnish

Jackson Cannon, the (one-time? current? I have no idea) bar manager at Eastern Standard apparently is in the habit of referring to Fernet-Branca as "Jäger for men", which is offensive on precisely two levels. However, the article that brings us that absurd quotation also says stuff like this:

The first time you taste Fernet, it literally assaults your senses. It’s intensely bitter, peppery and mentholated. ‘I can’t believe I just swallowed that,’ may be your first thought. But, intrigued, you try it again. You like that cleaned-out buzz, that feeling that your insides have been sandblasted. The next thing you know, you’re working in a restaurant.

Why do waiters, bartenders and chefs gravitate toward this stuff? Well … It’s a badass drink that very few people know about, much less like. Drinking it conveys both that you have an advanced palate and that you embrace the ridiculous.

...so perhaps some quarter should be given since that last sentence is oh so very wonderful.

Making her grand appearance on the Eastern Standard Cocktail Menu is the "Heather in Queue". Who is this Heather and why is she standing in line? Who knows? Who cares? I do know and care that she is made up of "A few of our favorite things:"

• Plymouth
• Martini Bianco
• Bauchant (an orange liquer)
• Fernet

Heather does indeed sound foxy enough to wait my turn.

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Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, Boston, Fernet cocktails, Fancy Fernet Free Verse, Duck Boats yall, Tom Brady is a handsome man

Places You Can Get Fernet: 331 Club in Minneapolis, MN

Fernet was previously found in Minneapolis here.

A text I received on Sunday morning from Tim, Fernetiquette's Senoir Minneapolitan Correspondent, read:

Last Fernet Branca was found and imbibed at The 331 in NE Minneapolis

The 331 Club in Northeast (or "Nordeast" as they oh-so-adorably call it) Minneapolis seems like exactly the kind of place that would carry Fernet-Branca. Just take a browse around the picture gallery for a second and you'd think the place would be on the corner of Valencia and Ironictruckerhat.

Hopefully our boy Tim didn't actually drink the LAST last bit of Fernet. 'Cuz you can order more, yannoh. You betcha.
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Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, Minnesota, I'm cooperatin' here, We're not a bank Jerry, lolhipsters.

Places You Can Get Fernet: Varnish in Los Angeles, CA

Fernet was previously found in Los Angeles here. 

This past weekend, I journeyed to the City of Angels in search of some saffron-infused Italian bitters. I went to several different taverns, some of which really should have served Fernet (I'm looking at you, Bar 107) but only managed to strike murky brown gold at one place. And what a place it was! Like all good bars in LA, this place was impossible to find and had no sign. Literally. It's an upscale speakeasy-style joint through an unmarked door in the back of a diner called Varnish.

Be forewarned, my friends. Varnish ain't cheap, but the perfectly-mixed concoctions you'll get will be worth every penny. This is doubly true if you order off-menu. For while the specialty drinks are worth your time, you should also feel free to rely on the considerable expertise of the waitstaff and mixologists. For example, one of my companions ordered something with gin, not sour or fizzy, "but extra delicious" and was served a simply wonderful Gershwin.

Needless to say, when I noticed Fernet-Branca on the menu (for $12 a shot no less - yikes!) I thought I'd challenge them a bit. "Whip me up something with Fernet in it," I told Devin, our (completely devastating) server. "Make it interesting."

The result: The Newark. It looked like this.

Dark bars + dark drinks = great times, dark photos 

The Newark seems like a bit of an obscure concoction, but its ingredients are essentially listed as: 

• 2 oz Applejack
• 1 oz Carpano Antica sweet vermouth
• 1 oz Maraschino liquor
• 2 bar spoons Fernet-Branca

It was served chilled in a cocktail glass, and it was fabulous. The brandy gave the drink a sort of cordial warmth, but this was balanced by the forward fruity notes of apple and cherry. The Fernet gave it a nice familiar kick at the finish (I have a hunch that our barkeep used more than two bar spoons in mine.) Serving it chilled mellowed the strong flavors out nicely.

 

 Cocktail by Varnish. Décolletage by Ms. J.

Passing the Newark around the table garnered these responses:

• 
  
  
  "Sort of Christmassy, but in a good way."
• 
  
  
  "It's like an all-spice flavor in there."
• 
  
  
  "It tastes like cold spiced apple cider, with saffron and lots of booze."
• 
  
  
  "Don't know if I could finish it, but it's good."

Obviously, I finished it and would give it my highest recommendation. The next time I'm at Bourbon and Branch I'll be sure to see if they can do a Newark that measures up.

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Filed under: Places you can get Fernet, Fernet cocktails, LA is sorta OK sometimes, Los Angeles, these are a few of my favorite things, Luckily it didn't taste like New Jersey

Places You Can Get Fernet: Atlanta, GA

A friendly tipster from the Ay Tee Ell just sent me this, um... tip.

There are actually a couple of places in glorious Atlanta where you can get Fernet, but I'm just going to tell you about one of them:

THE LOCAL

The Local is an easygoing smoke-filled institution on that most institutional of Atlanta hipster thoroughfares, Ponce de Leon.  Not only do they serve cheap-ass PBR tallboys, fried okra, tasty barbecue, boiled peanuts, and THE BEST WINGS I HAVE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE... but they also have Fernet!

Sometimes they even serve it in little medicine-dispenser Dixie cups, which adds panache to that wonderful Fernet flavor. 

I got mine. Let's get crunk. 

Many a night you can find my friends and me crowding a booth and downing Fernet Branca in between endless baskets of wings. It's just down the street from ridiculous hipster dance club MJQ, the incredibly-underrated gay dive bar Friends, and the historic Plaza Theatre, as well as the grocery store known as "Murder Kroger."

Apparently this is an actual thing.

The Local is the sort of place where pretty much nobody is drinking a Cosmopolitan and everybody knows the words to "Raining Blood" when it comes on.  

Other people who know the words to Raining Blood? That guy.

 The food is cheap and delicious.  Can you get better than that?  

Oh wait, you can!  You can serve Fernet.  Score.

Sounds divine. Tip passed along by Lindsay, the twisted and charming young lady appearing at the bottom of this here Page 'O Horrors.
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Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, Atlanta, FUCK YEAH SLAYER, the yuppies here shop at Manslaughter Whole Foods, I'll bet that guy is a drummer

Places You Can Get Fernet: Brooklyn, NY

Head's up from the Capitol of the World. Or, well, Brooklyn.

Should you find yourself in the City of Rocks, head directly to Full Circle in Williamsburg on Grand. First, because according to my sources they serve Fernet Branca. Second, and most importantly, go there because IT'S A SKEE BALL BAR. Holy shit!

Personally, I can think of no better way to spend my time than sipping on Fernet while tossing balls at just the perfect angle to so it will rim out of the 50-point hole and fall meekly towards the gutter. EVERY. TIME. Or maybe that's just me?

Regardless, were I a Brooklander (Brooklynner? Brooklouse?), I'd be over there regularly. I mean they run a friggin' skee ball league!

 Looks like a blast. This is not helping my natural San Franciscan Inferiority Complex with regards to NYC.

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Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, OMG OMG OMG, Nothing better in the world than invented amateur sports leagues, I guess this makes up for spawning the Dodgers

Places You Can Get Fernet: Minneapolis, MN

Ahhh, the Twin Cities. Nice place to visit. Honestly, it is. It's like a cleaner Chicago, with a downtown built like a hamster cage. Also: The Lakeside Club is a pretty good place for conversations with new acquaintances. Overall, I recommend the whole town*.

HOWEVA, I did spend this Christmas in Minneapolis, and in doing so visited four (4) different bars and found me some Fernet at exactly none (0) of them.  This wasn't too surprising but definitely counts as a strike against the Gopher State metropolis.

So I asked a friend who'd lived there for years if he'd knew where one could get some. Earlier this year, I'd introduced him to Fernet while he was visiting SF and here were his impressions:

My first reaction was that it tasted like minty bitters. I didn't really like it or hate. I could see how it could grow on me as a drink. I was apprehensive but drank it because my attorney advised it.

Smart lad, this one. He continues.

I have had it once since then. It isn't common around here, as you can guess.

The only place here in Minneapolis that I have ever seen it is at this restaraunt that just opened called il Gatto. They have straight up or they have it on their menu in a drop shot type of drink with Lemonata Pelligrino. They call it a Branca Bomb.

Success!

Il Gatto is in Uptown Minneapolis at the corner of Hennipin and Lake at Calhoun square. Uptown is where the cool kids hang out (it's like the Mission without the burrito joints.) Whatever middling reviews the food may get from customers, you have to give Il Gatto credit for honesty on their menu**. The ingredients to the Branca Bomb ($9) are listed as:

• Fernet-Branca
• San Pellegrino Limonata
• courage

Fair play to them. So, my Minneapolitan friend, did you try a Branca Bomb?

Of course I tried it. It was interesting, I can tell you that.

Sometimes, that's all you can ask for.


*Or "towns", as it were.
**Not exactly delicate in their words or adornments, Il Gatto's "Happy Hour" menu is decorated with a clipart picture of a cat's butthole. You have been forewarned.
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Filed under: Places you can get Fernet, Fernet cocktails, Minnesota, Prince orders his with extra courage, Goh Gohphers, Fernets and their migratory patterns

Places You Can Get Fernet: Los Angeles, CA

Greetings, Fernetizens! I write from vacation in the snowy midwest to pass along this tidbit from our Senior Los Angeles correspondent.

Well hello there.

Taken at the Down and Out, at 5th and Spring in Downtown Los Angeles. Our correspondent reports:

"I believe they gave me the shot for free. :-)"

Happy Holidays indeed!
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Filed under: Places you can get Fernet, Senior BLANK Correspondent, Fernets and their migratory patterns, Los Angeles, LA is sorta OK sometimes, How much are you paying for your Fernet.