The Eagerly Anticipated(?) Argentinian Fernet Picture Post

First off: many, many apologies for the tardiness of this post. I have been negligent in my sworn duty to provide to you sexy sexy Foreign Fernet Fotos from our Senior Traveling Correspondent and for this I subject myself to no fewer than 20 lashes and a shot of Jägermeister. (*shudder*)

 So without further ado, let's get on with the shew.

First, let's meet our photographer. You first met her here. Then we learned a bit more about her here. She looks like so:

 

Isn't she lovely? The picture of grace and beauty. And isn't it nice that she's willing to take pictures with hideously ugly homeless passers-by? She's a saint, I tell you. A saint. Purely for the purposes of this post, let's call her "Christy." This is almost certainly not her real name.

Moving on!

  

Christy reported being quite surprised at the availability of a great variety of different Fernets. San Franciscans tend to think of "fernet" and "Fernet-Branca" as interchangeable. It turns out that they are not. Fernet is a type of liquor (an amaro actually, which is a subset of bitters), whereas Branca is a distillery. The Branca brand is obviously the most popular type of Fernet, but they do not own the whole Fernet universe. Nevertheless it would be quite fascinating to sample some alternative brands side-by-side. I've heard tell of a few local bars that have some, and hope to try them out soon.

But seriously, folks. Let's talk turkey. How much are we paying for our Fernet in Argentina?

HOLY CRIKEY TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS ARE YOU EFFIN... oh what's that you say? Argentina uses the "peso" rather than the dollar? OK. Little different. According to the all-powerful Google, a peso is currently worth just over 25 cents. Meaning that a Fernet and Coke will run you about $6 in Buenos Aires. You could do worse stateside.

(As an aside, how desperately do I want to know what a Fernet Todo Mundo is? EXTREMELY desperately. True fact.)

Speaking of money, I would pay piles o pesos to get my mitts on one of these babies:

 

In my imagination, these are the only places to sit in Argentina. While in Argentina, one may only take a load off in a brand new Branca Brand director's chair, preferably whilst lighting the cigarette of the radient-yet-sullen Argentine brunette who is sitting across from you. Of course, she only stops by momentarily to rest her feet and share a smoke, a fernet and a wry smile before flitting off to join her amigos at the book reading/political rally/orgy happening in her commune at University. This is how I picture Argentina. Please do not correct me if I am wrong.

There are also Fernet ads everywhere. I know this because it is a fact. 

We've seen this one before. It's hella snazzy and sort of romantic in a weird way. But there are more. Oh yes.

 

I think I would understand this one if I smoked pot or went to Burning Man or something. This is like some weird Fernet-meets-David Copperfield shit. Not for me. 

On the other hand:

Sign me up for ^that guy. Clean. Classic. Gorgeous. 

And speaking of gorgeous...

Unico amor is right. Rrrrowr.

Finally, I leave you with this ad. In the grand tradition of my interaction with Argentinian Fernet adverts, I cannot for the life of me figure out what in the fuck is going on here:

It appears to be a bird of some sort. An eagle? A hawk? A raptor? WHAT IS THAT THING!? He is wearing a suit (maybe he has an interview!) and enjoying hisself some Fernets. But he's not just casually drinking a glass of Fernet. No, he appears to be offering someone a hit. Fine, right? But the expression on his... erm.. beak makes it clear that he's not doing it in a friendly "Let's have some bitters and share some stories old chap!" kind of way. No, it's more of a "Oh? You're not interested in finishing this shot? That's fine, just don't mind me while I gently rip out your throat with my talons and regurgitate the pulpy mass of your half-digested larynx to my needy hatchlings" kind of way. 

Most peculiar.

Again, a thousand thanks to Christy for the photographs. May she always travel to places where I can guilt her into providing me with wonderful and easy content. A thousand cheers to Christy! Huzzah!

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Filed Under: Senior BLANK Correspondent, How much are you paying for your Fernet, fernet adverts, Argentina loves them some Fernet, Fernets and their migratory patterns, Christy is hella rad, Fernet Foto File

More Dispatches from Afar: Buenos Aires, Argentina

Another holiday treat! This one coming from Your Fernetiquette's Senior Dirty Hippie Correspondent. We catch up with Her Granolatude as she travels to the one place on Earth that could possibly claim to love Fernet more than San Francisco does. That's right, she's in the Lion's den: Argentina.

Washington Monument II, The Wrath of George

 Here, she shares her story of her night out on the town with her gentleman friend. In an effort to protect his good name, we'll call him "Dan".

Greetings! Having a fantastic time thusfar in Buenos Aires ... Already seeing a lot of amazing architecture and interesting things and, of course, Fernet and Fernet ads.

I'll write up something more coherent later but I'll share this with you:

In the bar last night Dan tried to order a Fernet. I'm not sure what the precise language barrier seemed to be on this matter but he ended up with a Fernet Cola, because she explained, she thought he couldn`t possibly have wanted just a shot of Fernet as it is, in fact, not good. [Editor's note: BLASPHEMY!]

(please note: this is a somewhat loosely translated version of what she said. but you get the point.)

I get the point indeed: Argentinians are a bunch of ninnies. Albeit ninnies who write catchy tunes about their ninny drinks. Por ejemplo:

Try to get THAT baby out of your head for the next four hours. You're welcome.


Oh! I almost forgot! Our correspondent added one delicious post-script to her note: 

And I'm taking pics of ads all over the place.

 Yay more free content yay!

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Filed under: Drink it like a man you pansies, Fernets and their migratory patterns, Fernet on the Tubes, Senior BLANK Correspondent, Fernet and Cola, It's not really that bad ya know, The Argentine Menace

Places You Can Get Fernet: Los Angeles, CA

Greetings, Fernetizens! I write from vacation in the snowy midwest to pass along this tidbit from our Senior Los Angeles correspondent.

Well hello there.

Taken at the Down and Out, at 5th and Spring in Downtown Los Angeles. Our correspondent reports:

"I believe they gave me the shot for free. :-)"

Happy Holidays indeed!
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Filed under: Places you can get Fernet, Senior BLANK Correspondent, Fernets and their migratory patterns, Los Angeles, LA is sorta OK sometimes, How much are you paying for your Fernet.