Places You Can Get Fernet: Eastern Standard in Boston, MA

So. You're in Boston. You've gone to Faneuil Hall. You've had your picture taken in front of the Civil War memorial on the Common. You've done the Duck Tour. And you've walked by Fenway and thought about how nice it would be to see a game there but all the tickets are sold out and $350 for a scalped seat behind a pole are you effing kidding me!?!?!

Now you're thinking to yourself "Man, I could really go for a rib eye steak, half a raw lobster, some standard (not special, mind you) foie gras with seasonal garnish, and an heirloom apple tarte tartin for dessert. Oh, and also some Fernet. I've only got $75 to spend (not including tax and gratuity, of course.) But where???"

There's only one place that THIS writer knows of. And that's The Eastern Standard.

The aforementioned standard foie gras and seasonal garnish

Jackson Cannon, the (one-time? current? I have no idea) bar manager at Eastern Standard apparently is in the habit of referring to Fernet-Branca as "Jäger for men", which is offensive on precisely two levels. However, the article that brings us that absurd quotation also says stuff like this:

The first time you taste Fernet, it literally assaults your senses. It’s intensely bitter, peppery and mentholated. ‘I can’t believe I just swallowed that,’ may be your first thought. But, intrigued, you try it again. You like that cleaned-out buzz, that feeling that your insides have been sandblasted. The next thing you know, you’re working in a restaurant.

Why do waiters, bartenders and chefs gravitate toward this stuff? Well … It’s a badass drink that very few people know about, much less like. Drinking it conveys both that you have an advanced palate and that you embrace the ridiculous.

...so perhaps some quarter should be given since that last sentence is oh so very wonderful.

Making her grand appearance on the Eastern Standard Cocktail Menu is the "Heather in Queue". Who is this Heather and why is she standing in line? Who knows? Who cares? I do know and care that she is made up of "A few of our favorite things:"

• Plymouth
• Martini Bianco
• Bauchant (an orange liquer)
• Fernet

Heather does indeed sound foxy enough to wait my turn.

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Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, Boston, Fernet cocktails, Fancy Fernet Free Verse, Duck Boats yall, Tom Brady is a handsome man

"Fernet Branca, the cause, cure, sustainer and catalyst to so many of my adventures..."

The smartly-written foodie blog NW Vivant took some time recently to compose an ode to this blog's titular beverage. The whole post is worth a read, but here's a snippet:

... Fernet is delicious in a way like coffee becomes delicious. The first time you have it you’re probably just going along with the cool kids. Perhaps, a “friend” plunks a shot before you, one round or a dozen later you love Fernet. You still don’t realize the full on radness of Fernet yet though. After all, it’s just helped you along to a pleasant cheery state. The next morning you might wake up feeling just a tad the worse for wear, you start reviewing the previous evening and swear to not drink that dark crap again. You stumble out of bed and that self-same “friend” greets you with, you guessed it, a shot or Fernet.

Your gag reflex starts to kick in as the previous evening flashes before your eyes. ‘Trust me,’ you’re told. Shuddering, you step up to the plate and miracle of miracles, about ten seconds later all is much better and you feel ready to start all over again. You think to yourself, well that’s pretty effin’ cool. It fixes the problem it causes.

Indeed not only does it fix the problem it causes, but it causes (and subsequently remedies) several problems that you didn't even know existed. Usually before you're aware of them at all.

Dark Magic is right, my friends.

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Filed Under: Fancy Fernet Free Verse, Fellow Travelers, Goddamn Google Alerts is awesome