Places You Can Get Fernet: Halo, in Atlanta, GA.

Fernet was previously found in Atlanta at the local (and not the Murder Kroger).

Again from our traveling correspondent.

At Halo in Atlanta. Stay sexy.

As you can see, my boy is excellent with the Fernet Fotography.
_____
Filed Under: Places you can get Fernet, Fernet Foto File, Atlanta, Fernets and their migratory patterns, Jason Heyward is an effing stud.

Places You Can Get Fernet: Cure in New Orleans, LA

Another short one. If time permits, I've got plenty of interesting updates coming very soon.

Regardless:

Forwarded to us by our intrepid traveling reporter, who testified that Cure boldly offers not just Fernet-Branca, but ALSO features my old nemesis* Branca Menta.

Well played.

*Updates also to come on our longstanding bloodfeud with The Menta.
______
Filed Under:  Places you can get Fernet, Nawlins, Fernet Foto File, Branca Menta is the devil, keeping up with this blog is hard sometimes.

Places You Can Get Fernet: Harry's Bar in Allston, MA

It's been a while and I've got some catching up to do, so how about a short one? OK? OK.

Taken May 17, 2010 at Harry's Bar and Grill in Allston, Mass. The accompanying message from the fine gentleman who sent the picture:

I miss you, my friend.

You too, brother.
_____
Filed Under: Boston, Places you can get Fernet, Fernet Foto File, male bonding amongst males, Allston Rock City.

"The Liqueur of Hades"

According to Salon dot com, quoting The Wall Street Journal quoting something called "The Wine and Food Society of New York", (which doesn't even sound like a real thing) Fernet is "The Liqueur of Hades".Well, OK.

I'd file an objection, but frankly fair enough. Hades isn't so bad, and the description is fairly appropriate in all honesty. If nothing else, it's better than being called something truly terrible like say... the Liqueur of Cleveland. Can't even imagine what that would taste like.

Also, THIS is hilarious.

Betsy von Furstenberg was suspended from Actor's Equity in 1960 after secretly putting [Fernet] into Tony Randall's onstage drink.

 Of course.

Oh, Felix Unger. Such a buzzkill.

_________

Filed Under: Fernet Foto File, Fernet is Famous or something, People upon whom Betsy von Fustenberg has forced the stuff, The Liqueur of Hades

Fernet On Tap is a Real Actual Thing

I can swear to the above statement in a court of law. Because last night, I ventured all the way over to the expensive side of the City to Bullitt and saw it with my very own eyes. It was glorious.

Hella OMGs!

Let's get a close-up view on that bad boy.

Yep. That's right. It's an an adorable wee lil Fernet bottle stuck on a tap. And that tap dispenses Fernet. It's like a unicorn gumdrop fountain made of $100 bills. Too good to be real. If they had one of these at The Homestead I'd probably try to move in.

Unfortunately, they don't have one at The Homestead or anywhere else in my general area, so I'm forced to go all the way to Fernet Central/Russian Hill to sample Fernet On Tap. Russian Hill is A) pretty far from me, and B) basically the Marina. More on B) later, but let's just say I'm glad they weren't checking neighborhood passports too closely.

So what did Fernet On Tap taste like? To be honest, it tasted a heck of a lot like regular Fernet. It may have been slightly more "open" and a tiny bit less sharp, but it was still Fernet so it still had plenty of prickliness to spare. Theresa, our ever-present companion and photographer, said it tasted "warmer". I think that's right, though none of the variances are present to a large extent. Bottom line: you really have to work hard to taste the difference.

This should not be a surprise. Fernet does not exactly present the subtlest of flavor palates. You can fuss with the margins all you like, but you're not going to alter the big picture a whole bunch. Fernet On Tap will still walk up to you and slug you in the face just like Fernet Not On Tap will. The only difference may be in the exact angle of the right cross.

I don't have much more to say about Bullitt itself, so allow me to comment on Russian Hill in general. First, this is the window of the bar right next door from Bullitt:

Yes, that's a gigantic bottle of Fernet-Branca with branchy tree-like things growing out of it. Well, OK. Cheers to you Cresta's 2211 Club. Your window display is beautiful like a rainbow.

Secondly, upon leaving Bullitt and heading back up Polk street towards my friend Such A Clatter's car, we passed yet another bar. Out from said bar came stumbling a prototypical Marina DudeBrah. He wasn't wearing an Ed Hardy T-Shirt, but I can only assume that was because he was at the end of a laundry cycle. At any rate, he stumbled up to our band of merry folks, nudged me on the elbow and pointed across the street towards an attractive young lady in the crosswalk.

"Hey man," he slobbered. "Wouldn't you like to get up inside that?"

Somewhat stunned, I laughed it off and said "Oh yeah, man. Absolutely."

She had apparently heard the exchange and was obviously smitten by the high compliment paid to her by our unnamed drunkard, because she turned towards us, raised a heavily manicured hand and went "WOOOOO!!!!"

Ahh, young love. You stay classy, Russian Hill. 
_______
Filed Under: OMG OMG OMG, Best McQueen Tribute Evar, Russian Hill, DudeBrahs, Fernet Foto File, MSPaint Skillz, Fernet On Tap, Actual research-like substance.

Okay, Okay, I'll Try Fernet Con Coca.

It's hard to argue that I'm some kind of Fernet purist. While my preferred way to take it is in shot form, I have obviously enjoyed my fair share of some entirely scrumptious Fernet concoctions. So why is it that until now I've resisted trying the most popular (and easiest to make) Fernet cocktail in the world?

Frankly, I have no idea. I like Fernet. I like Coke. I drink enough of either ingredient that I would conservatively estimate my bloodstream is typically around 40% Fernet and Coke anyway. But the idea of ordering a Fernet and Coke gets my dander up.

Maybe I blanch at Fernet Con Coca because I'm defensive of the idea that you'd have to water it down to make it palatable. It's definitely also a bit of (ahhh my old familiar friend) San Franciscan Pretentiousness. Regardless, the idea of cutting my delicious Fernet with something as pedestrian as cola has spurred me to deploy not just one but two derogatory (and probably offensive) tags to refer to Fernet Con Coca on this blog.

Well, folks. It's time to suck it up and try it. For science!

Pictured: ingredients. Not pictured: irrational internal scorn.

As an aside, the bottle above cost me almost $30 with tax at the liquor store across the street. And yet I paid it. Don't ever say I don't do anything for you people.

Dramatic reflection shot!

For the sake of completeness, here's how to make a Fernet Con Coca.

• One shot of Fernet-Branca
• Coca-Cola
• Ice

*sigh*

At least they look pretty

Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush. Fernet and Coke tastes exactly how you'd expect it to taste. The cola waters the Fernet down so it's less punchy, but not so much that you can't still get the flavor. It's fine. A little blander than I'd like it to be, but fine. The best thing I can say about Fernet Con Coca is that mixing it like this prolongs the Fernet experience and the ice and cold coke make it more of a summer-y refreshing drink. Like a Tom Collins that'll put hair on your chest. I just can't see myself drinking this regularly is all.

FWIW, The Ladyfriend liked it more than I did. Here were her thoughts:

It's kind of an interesting balance in this drink, it seems. Sometimes it seems as though it doesn't take much Fernet for it to taste sort of like just a drawn-out shot of Fernet--like a shot of Fernet diluted a bit with Coke because, say, hypothetically, you only had a little bit of Fernet left and really wanted to make one last drink for the night but were too lazy/tipsy/naked to go out to the store to buy more Fernet--not that I would ever be able to relate to such a hypothetical desire in such a hypothetical situation, ever, because that's just sad! Right?

At any rate: a Fernet con Coca that tastes sort of like a drawn-out Fernet shot is not a bad thing. I enjoy it. It does, however, take on a somewhat different flavor when it's heavier on the Coca-Cola and lighter on the Fernet. The Fernet taste and Coke do complement each other rather well, I think; the specific way in which Coke is sweet and syrupy works with Fernet. (Note: I am not sure I could be paid/what sum of money I'd have to be paid to try a Fernet con Diet Coca. The sugar and the syrupiness of the regular Coke is crucial, I think, and I don't really like regular Coke most of the time. I'm super into Diet Coke, and yet I still would be hard-pressed to drink, voluntarily/for free, a Fernet con Diet Coca.)

So, final verdict: I like it. If one didn't like Fernet at all, I think a very very light-on-Fernet Fernet con Coca might even possibly work for that one. Should I ever find myself in Argentina, I shall order myself a Fernet con Coca with white-chick-style-atrociously-accented-broken-Spanish gusto.

So there you go. I should note that I have no such compunction against trying a Fernet and Diet Coke. I'm trying to watch my girlish figure, see.
_____
 
FINALLY, in pseudo-celebration of the holiday, here is the face-melting #1 hit in a google image search for "Fernet St. Patrick's Day":

Holy shit!

Fuck if I know what that has to do with St. Patrick's Day, and fuck if I could care. THIS. IS. AWESOME. Something tells me this isn't an official Branca advert, though I confess I don't know whether I would like it more or less if it was. Regardless, one thousand cocktails to whoever produced this work of art, and I will now seek out a print to hang on the ceiling above my bed.

____

Filed Under: OMG OMG OMG, Fernet and Cola, The Argentine Menace, Drink it like a man you pansies, Fernet cocktails, le sigh, Fernet Foto File, fernet adverts, thats fuckin art man art

Falling

Hi. My name is Clint. I'm a chronically under-employed attorney who plays guitar in a silly punk rock band on the side. This is my blog.

It's been a few weeks since I used this space. I know my four readers were very upset/might have been curious/were not bothered at all at my absence. Fear not my friends, I'm back.

Anyhoo, I took this picture the other night on a date night with my ladyfriend.

Going forward, I think this blog will be a little bit more personal and a little bit broader in focus. Of course, I'll still talk about our favorite Italian digestif, but I think I'll also use this space for more personal reflection as needed. I hope all four of you stick with.

I took the above picture at Vesuvio, which I also talked about here. It was date night with Theresa, and we had a very nice time. She took this picture:

...which I liked for obvious reasons. Tee hee.

Regular postings should resume now.
____
Filed Under:  Fernet Foto File, And you thought North Beach was only good for mediocre pizza and strippers, Vesuvio, Over-sharing and functional alcoholism, meta.

All Your Updates: Tossing (Back) Footballs, Burrito Justice, and Scouting the Enemy

All Your Updates to Various Things for Feb. 18

Talkin' Footballs (Just in time for baseball season!)
Prior to the Super Bowl, we tipped you off to the magic of the Football, a drink that essentially consisted of Fernet-Branca and whipped cream. Sufficiently intrigued, the lady whipped up some... um, whipped cream so we could drink the footballs while watching the footballs.

 

The gnome looks on... wistfully

We (er... she) decided for the sake of scientific inquiry to try both the store bought whipped cream and homemade stuff. Mixing in a bit of vanilla extract and sugar to whipping cream, she got to work:

As you can see, we lack a mixer. I have been told to remedy this.

The result was quite frankly delicious and far FAR superior to the store-bought whipped cream.

It's like a Fernet Float! 

Obviously, if you're familiar with Fernet you can guess what one of these tastes like, but I will say it was better than I expected. The cream really mellowed some of the natural overpowering amaro tang. The vanilla in the homemade cream was an especially nice touch. I'd even recommend one of these to the fernet-averse, though I'd probably pour them a smaller glass.

For the sake of completeness, here's a shot of the prettier-but-not-quite-as-tasty Football with the store bought whipped cream.

You must check this out immediately or I will fight you.

If you live in San Francisco, you should be familiar with Burrito Justice. It's a blog dedicating to taking what is old and historic about San Francisco (and specifically the Mission/Bernal areas) and exposing it to the fixie-riding-fernet-swilling folks populating our neighborhoods today. If you don't know them, take some time to poke around the site because pretty much everything they do is beyond fascinating.

I bring them up today because Burrito Justice has been absolutely killing it lately, in a way relevant to this blog's second most favoritest topic: baseball. (As an aside- OMG PITCHERS AND CATCHERS PITCHERS AND CATCHERS!) 

Last week, they explored how the graceful glory of Seals Stadium at the corner of 16th and Bryant was transmogrified into the Office Depot/Safeway/24 Hour Fitness monstrosity that inhabits that space today.

They took the time to overlay the schematics of Seals Stadium onto the current layout of the shopping complex, and (with some help) found the exact location of each of the bases.

He hits it high! He hits it deep! He hits it to Lane Bryant!

As if that weren't cool enough, today they went even farther back in time in a post titled "The Mission Has Always Been the Home of Baseball", wherein they drag up some amazing issues of the San Francisco Call Bulliten from 1924 which serve as the definitive history of San Francisco baseball. I don't want to ruin it (CLICK THE EFFING LINK ALREADY) but let me just say that I now consider myself an honorary member of the San Francisco Pickled Nine.

You're a handsome fella. What's your name?

A Faces of Fernet from a random schmo.

Those ceilings are the tits

Taken @ The Homestead on 19th and Folsom on Saturday, Feb. 13.

Housekeeping.
Light posting this week as I've been busy with some interesting and exciting stuff that has almost nothing to do with this blog. Should be back to normal next week.

HOWEVA, in what will probably not be an opening salvo in The Great California War but will certainly involve me talking mad shit to disinterested Dodger fans, this weekend I'll be hopping on a flight and heading directly...

...to *shudder* Los Angeles. Naturally, I'll be doing some Fernetiquette research. Stay tuned.

_____
Filed under: All Your Updates, Fernet Foto File, Faces of Fernet, Burrito is my favorite kind of Justice, LA is sorta OK sometimes, The Homestead, Fernet cocktails, The High Holy Church of Baseball

The Eagerly Anticipated(?) Argentinian Fernet Picture Post

First off: many, many apologies for the tardiness of this post. I have been negligent in my sworn duty to provide to you sexy sexy Foreign Fernet Fotos from our Senior Traveling Correspondent and for this I subject myself to no fewer than 20 lashes and a shot of Jägermeister. (*shudder*)

 So without further ado, let's get on with the shew.

First, let's meet our photographer. You first met her here. Then we learned a bit more about her here. She looks like so:

 

Isn't she lovely? The picture of grace and beauty. And isn't it nice that she's willing to take pictures with hideously ugly homeless passers-by? She's a saint, I tell you. A saint. Purely for the purposes of this post, let's call her "Christy." This is almost certainly not her real name.

Moving on!

  

Christy reported being quite surprised at the availability of a great variety of different Fernets. San Franciscans tend to think of "fernet" and "Fernet-Branca" as interchangeable. It turns out that they are not. Fernet is a type of liquor (an amaro actually, which is a subset of bitters), whereas Branca is a distillery. The Branca brand is obviously the most popular type of Fernet, but they do not own the whole Fernet universe. Nevertheless it would be quite fascinating to sample some alternative brands side-by-side. I've heard tell of a few local bars that have some, and hope to try them out soon.

But seriously, folks. Let's talk turkey. How much are we paying for our Fernet in Argentina?

HOLY CRIKEY TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS ARE YOU EFFIN... oh what's that you say? Argentina uses the "peso" rather than the dollar? OK. Little different. According to the all-powerful Google, a peso is currently worth just over 25 cents. Meaning that a Fernet and Coke will run you about $6 in Buenos Aires. You could do worse stateside.

(As an aside, how desperately do I want to know what a Fernet Todo Mundo is? EXTREMELY desperately. True fact.)

Speaking of money, I would pay piles o pesos to get my mitts on one of these babies:

 

In my imagination, these are the only places to sit in Argentina. While in Argentina, one may only take a load off in a brand new Branca Brand director's chair, preferably whilst lighting the cigarette of the radient-yet-sullen Argentine brunette who is sitting across from you. Of course, she only stops by momentarily to rest her feet and share a smoke, a fernet and a wry smile before flitting off to join her amigos at the book reading/political rally/orgy happening in her commune at University. This is how I picture Argentina. Please do not correct me if I am wrong.

There are also Fernet ads everywhere. I know this because it is a fact. 

We've seen this one before. It's hella snazzy and sort of romantic in a weird way. But there are more. Oh yes.

 

I think I would understand this one if I smoked pot or went to Burning Man or something. This is like some weird Fernet-meets-David Copperfield shit. Not for me. 

On the other hand:

Sign me up for ^that guy. Clean. Classic. Gorgeous. 

And speaking of gorgeous...

Unico amor is right. Rrrrowr.

Finally, I leave you with this ad. In the grand tradition of my interaction with Argentinian Fernet adverts, I cannot for the life of me figure out what in the fuck is going on here:

It appears to be a bird of some sort. An eagle? A hawk? A raptor? WHAT IS THAT THING!? He is wearing a suit (maybe he has an interview!) and enjoying hisself some Fernets. But he's not just casually drinking a glass of Fernet. No, he appears to be offering someone a hit. Fine, right? But the expression on his... erm.. beak makes it clear that he's not doing it in a friendly "Let's have some bitters and share some stories old chap!" kind of way. No, it's more of a "Oh? You're not interested in finishing this shot? That's fine, just don't mind me while I gently rip out your throat with my talons and regurgitate the pulpy mass of your half-digested larynx to my needy hatchlings" kind of way. 

Most peculiar.

Again, a thousand thanks to Christy for the photographs. May she always travel to places where I can guilt her into providing me with wonderful and easy content. A thousand cheers to Christy! Huzzah!

______

Filed Under: Senior BLANK Correspondent, How much are you paying for your Fernet, fernet adverts, Argentina loves them some Fernet, Fernets and their migratory patterns, Christy is hella rad, Fernet Foto File

Faces of Fernet: Matt @ Pop's

What's that, Matt? You've never tried Fernet-Branca?

Fernetiquette victim du jour

Cheers!

You weren't quite expecting that, were you?

What'd you think?

[It seems that] the common reaction to a shot of Fernet is a cringe followed by a stuporous instant where bafflement overrides all preceding emotions.

Whatever you say, sailor.

Taken 12/14/09 @ Pop's. For the record, he did end up ordering another shot.

_____
Filed under: Faces of Fernet, Fernet Foto File, People upon whom I've forced the stuff, Pop's is for winners,

Life is Pretty OK

Saturday night.

Taken @ The 500 Club on 1/9/10. Mmmm. The shot cost $6. The view was priceless.

Next week, we'll follow up on the Mystery Dog advert, as well as check in with our returning Argentine correspondent. We'll also look at some Fernet-friendly places from around the country. Stay tuned.

______

Filed Under: 500 Club, Fernet Foto File, Updates, these are a few of my favorite things, How much are you paying for your Fernet

Places You Can Get Fernet: Los Angeles, CA

Greetings, Fernetizens! I write from vacation in the snowy midwest to pass along this tidbit from our Senior Los Angeles correspondent.

Well hello there.

Taken at the Down and Out, at 5th and Spring in Downtown Los Angeles. Our correspondent reports:

"I believe they gave me the shot for free. :-)"

Happy Holidays indeed!
_______

Filed under: Places you can get Fernet, Senior BLANK Correspondent, Fernets and their migratory patterns, Los Angeles, LA is sorta OK sometimes, How much are you paying for your Fernet.